


made for each other

by andromedagalaxy



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-31
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-13 04:38:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10506459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: “Lukas?” Miss Melody says. “Can you come with me?”Lukas feels his throat go tight. “Uh—”“You’re not in trouble,” she says, as everyone turns to face him now. “I just need you to come with me.”“It’s alright, Lukas,” Mr. Hammond says, nodding at him.Lukas swallows hard and nods back, quickly gathering his things and shoving them into his bag, grabbing his phone and slipping it into his pocket. He gets up and weaves around the desk as he moves towards the door, following Miss Melody out into the hallway. His heart is hammering in his ears and he tries to guess what in the hell this is about. “What’s going on?” he asks, barely able to form the question.(Philip breaks his leg, AKA the story that was supposed to be a little blurb that turned into a thirty page hurt/comfort epic)





	

Lukas is half zoning out in Trig, his hand pressing so hard into his cheek that he knows it’ll be red when he pulls away. He presses the home button on his phone and waits for it to light up. He’s disappointed to see that Philip still hasn’t texted him back. Lukas sighs, drumming his fingers on the desk, and hates that Philip actually tends to _concentrate_ in class instead of messaging him. He types up another message carefully, briefly looking up to make sure Mr. Hammond doesn’t see him. 

_pay attention to me baby, it’s been an hour since I’ve seen you and that’s too long!_

He hears the door open behind him but he doesn’t glance up like a few others do, only locks his phone back again. He watches another teacher, Miss Melody, walk over to Mr. Hammond and whisper something in his ear. Lukas narrows his eyes, detaching his palm from his face and sitting back in his chair. Surprisingly, both teachers turn and look right at him.

“Lukas?” Miss Melody says. “Can you come with me?”

Lukas feels his throat go tight. “Uh—”

“You’re not in trouble,” she says, as everyone turns to face him now. “I just need you to come with me.”

“It’s alright, Lukas,” Mr. Hammond says, nodding at him.

Lukas swallows hard and nods back, quickly gathering his things and shoving them into his bag, grabbing his phone and slipping it into his pocket. He gets up and weaves around the desk as he moves towards the door, following Miss Melody out into the hallway. His heart is hammering in his ears and he tries to guess what in the hell this is about. “What’s going on?” he asks, barely able to form the question.

“Philip Shea fell down the stairs and broke his leg,” Miss Melody says, looking at him with her lips pressed into a thin line.

A wave of nausea washes over Lukas and he feels like he might collapse for a moment, his mouth going dry. “Where—where is he?” he stammers.

“He’s in the clinic, the ambulance is on its way,” she says, speeding up her pace to match his new one, now that he knows his destination. “He was asking for you.”

Lukas can barely think straight. “No one—no one pushed him, right?” he asks, anger already blooming in his cheeks at the very thought of such a thing. “Right?” he demands.

“No, no,” she says, shaking her head. “He was alone, he was going back to class from the restroom.”

Lukas nods, but he’s still afraid Philip would deny it even if someone did push him. They walk the rest of the way in silence, and Lukas doesn’t key back in until they get to the door to the clinic—he can see Philip through the window and he rips the door open, rushing inside.

“Lukas,” Philip breathes. He’s laying on the counter and he reaches his hand out. Lukas takes it immediately, sliding up alongside him and brushing his hair out of his eyes. He’s so pale and he winces when he moves, his free hand gripping his own shirt in a tight fist. Lukas runs his thumb over Philip’s cheekbone, his head still swimming.

“Baby,” Lukas whispers. “Fuck, how did this happen?”

“I fell down the stairs like an idiot,” Philip groans, turning into Lukas’s hand. “I think the ground was wet.”

“No one pushed you, right?” Lukas asks, leaning down a little bit.

“No.”

“You’d tell me if they did?”

“Yes,” Philip asks, meeting his eyes. 

“Okay,” Lukas says, deciding to believe him for now. 

“I’m sorry for getting you pulled out of class,” Philip says, his voice strained. “I just—”

“No, no,” Lukas says. “I’m glad you did. I would have flipped the fuck out if you hadn’t.” He looks down at Philip’s leg and feels sick. It’s twisted at an awful angle and it looks like the bone is pressing up against his jeans in a way it definitely shouldn’t be. He looks back up at Philip’s face. “Does it hurt a lot?”

“Uh,” Philip says, gritting his teeth. “I mean, you got shot. This is probably…nothing compared to that.”

“Shut up,” Lukas says, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. He nuzzles his nose against Philip’s skin for a moment, breathing him in. “They’ll let me go with you in the ambulance, right?”

“Yeah,” Philip says. “They better.”

“I plan on throwing a fucking fit if they try and split us up,” Lukas says, kissing his cheek. They’ve only recently started acting like a couple in public, and Lukas still feels awkward kissing Philip in front of people at school. But right now all he wants to do is kiss him, hold him, take care of him, damn everybody else and himself included. He wishes he could take his pain away. He can’t believe they’re just coming out of the haze of all the horror they went through and something like this has to happen to Philip. They’re just getting back on fucking track.

“Spring break starts tomorrow,” Philip groans. “I fucked up our spring break.”

“No you didn’t,” Lukas says. “It’s better this happened when school can’t make it difficult.”

Miss Melody comes back into the room and leans on the wall. “The ambulance is here, okay?”

Lukas kisses Philip’s cheek again for good measure, squeezing his hand. 

~

“Lukas. Lukas.”

Lukas fazes back in and looks up at Gabe. “Yeah?”

“You want anything from the vending machine?” Gabe asks. 

Lukas didn’t go to lunch today because of all this, but he doesn’t want to think about eating. “No, I’m okay.”

Gabe looks at him for a moment, narrowing his eyes. “I’ll grab you something just in case you want it later, okay?”

Lukas nods at him, managing a half-hearted smile. He watches Gabe turn the corner and glances back down at his phone again. He’d been staring at the last message Philip sent him this morning, and he’s highly, highly aware that he has Philip’s phone in his pocket. 

_You’re the cutest person on the planet. Stop distracting me!_

Helen nudges him from the chair beside him. “He’s gonna be fine, Lukas. It’s a moderate break and it just takes a little while to get it back into place so it can heal properly. Don’t worry.”

“I just…” He shakes his head and clears his throat, staring down at the words. He feels sick knowing he can’t text him and receive a response, and he feels a panic attack coming on every time he realizes Philip’s phone is in his pocket. Philip doesn’t have his phone. Philip can’t answer him. Philip lost his mom and he’s still recovering from that and this has to fucking happen. Philip is in surgery and he’s hurt and Lukas isn’t there to hold his hand.

_“Ryan held a gun on me. I thought I was going to die. I thought he was gonna shoot me and I thought I was gonna die.”_

Helen wraps an arm around him, squeezing his shoulder. “It’s gonna be fine, alright? I’m sure they’re almost done.”

“How long do you think he’ll have to stay here?” Lukas asks. He fucking hated his time in the hospital and he feels like he’s gonna hate every second of this more.

“Day or two, at the most,” Helen says. “He’s healthy overall, they’re just gonna want to monitor him and make sure everything is going to plan.”

“You think, uh,” Lukas starts, “that I—that we’ll be able to stay overnight with him?”

“I’m the sheriff,” Helen says, holding her chin high. “They’re not gonna say no to me.”

Lukas can’t help but grin at that.

Helen smiles softly at him. “Don’t worry, just try and relax. We’re gonna be in there with him soon. He’s gonna be fine.”

Lukas swallows hard and leans towards her slightly, nodding. “Right. Right, okay.”

~

Finally, after what feels like a thousand years, the doctor comes out and tells them that they’ve moved Philip into a room after a successful surgery. He starts going into the details and Lukas vaguely hears the word ‘tibia’ but he’s so anxious to see Philip that he can’t focus, a high pitched sound going off in his ears. They follow him a couple minutes later, up some stairs and down a hallway, and Lukas pushes his way into the room faster than he did in the clinic earlier, nearly toppling the doctor over.

Philip’s whole leg is covered by a white plaster cast, and when he turns to look at them a goofy smile appears on his face. 

“Hey guys!” he nearly yells. “Oh man. My three favorites. All three of them. The big three.”

“He’s on a little bit of morphine for the pain,” the doctor says. 

“A little bit!” Philip exclaims, giggling, and Lukas’s heart swells with affection.

“Just press the call button if you need anything,” the doctor says, “but otherwise he should be good for an overnight. If all goes to plan he’ll be released tomorrow afternoon.”

“Thank you,” Gabe says, nodding at him.

Lukas doesn’t turn to see him go because Philip is reaching out for him, contracting his fingers in and out. Lukas surges forward and takes his hand, pulling up a seat beside him. 

“I missed you,” Philip says, tucking his chin in a bit.

“I fucking _missed you_ ,” Lukas emphasizes, scooting closer. “How are you? How are you feeling?”

“I’m doing great,” Philip says, grinning. “They cut my leg off.”

“Philip,” Helen says, from behind them. “You still have your leg.”

“No,” Philip says, his eyes widening. “They replaced it. With this white thing.”

“Your leg is still under there, kid,” Gabe says, moving up closer and smiling down at Philip.

Philip looks positively incredulous for a moment, his mouth agape as he squeezes Lukas’s hand. Lukas squeezes back, reaching out to brush his thumb across Philip’s cheekbone. Philip meets his eyes when he does it. “Is it?” he whispers, like it’s some sort of secret. “It’s under there?”

“It better be or we’re getting our money back,” Lukas says.

Philip snorts, smiling wide at him. “You’re all going to stay the night with me, right?”

“Right,” Lukas says, fast.

“We’ll be here,” Helen says. “I just have to talk to them and let them know.”

“Because if you don’t stay I’m going to get lost,” Philip says, looking back and forth between them.

“You planning on going someplace?” Gabe asks.

“I mean, probably,” Philip says, looking at Lukas and nodding at him.

“No, you’re going to stay in bed,” Helen says. “You don’t even know how to walk with crutches yet.”

Panic strikes Philip’s features and Lukas leans forward, squeezing his hand again. “I’m gonna help you,” he whispers. 

“Are you sure?” Philip whispers back.

“Yes, of course,” Lukas says. 

“Do you like me that much?” Philip asks, reaching over and covering their hands with his free one. 

Lukas looks away for a second, can almost feel Helen and Gabe shifting around behind him. He’s been thinking the words for a while now. Been feeling the words for longer than that. He’s given himself to Philip, body and soul, and he wishes he could kick himself into gear and just _say it_ already. He knows he feels it, he knows Philip knows he feels it, and it would mean so much to Philip if he could just come out with it. But the words always get stuck behind his teeth, even in moments like this when Philip is laying in a hospital bed and Lukas should be doing everything to make him feel better. 

“I like you well beyond that,” Lukas says, finally. 

Philip’s face relaxes and he smiles softly. “I’m gonna go to sleep,” he says.

“You two stay with him, okay?” Helen says, smoothing her hand over Lukas’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go talk to somebody.”

Lukas nods, not taking his eyes off of Philip. He watches him drift for a moment, turning his face into the pillow. Lukas brings Philip’s hand up to his mouth and kisses it, trying not to focus on how loud his heart is beating in his ears.

~

Helen calls his dad and tells them Lukas is going to stay at the hospital, and Lukas makes sure to tell her to tell him that he’ll be staying with Philip the first couple nights, too. He’s surprised when his dad doesn’t put up too much of a fight about it, and Helen doesn’t raise any objections, either. 

Gabe falls asleep in the arm chair in the corner, and after insisting Lukas take the second bed for about an hour, Helen crashes there herself, texting Tony for a while before falling asleep. Lukas stares at Philip, stares at his leg and his face and runs his hands through his hair delicately, trying not to wake him. He lays his head down on the bed and tries to sleep, still holding Philip’s hand.

Eventually, he hears Philip saying his name. 

“Lukas. Lukas.”

Lukas shoots up, searching for Philip’s eyes in the dark. “What’s wrong?” he asks, reaching out until his hand lands on Philip’s collarbone. “Are you okay?”

“It fucking hurts, Lukas,” Philip says. “God it hurts. It hurts so bad.”

Lukas’s stomach drops. “Want me to call someone?”

“I pressed the call button but I don’t really…I don’t really want more morphine,” Philip says. 

Lukas reaches over and clicks on the light, and his heart lurches when he looks back down and sees the tears in Philip’s eyes. He leans down and starts brushing them away, kissing Philip’s cheeks. “Baby,” he whispers, at a loss for what to do. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. What can I do, what do you want me to do?”

“Just don’t leave,” Philip says, his voice breaking. “Just stay with me, Lukas.”

“I’m not going _anywhere_ ,” Lukas says, definitively. “Listen, Philip, I’m gonna go with you everywhere. When we’re in college and living together you’re gonna get so irritated with me following you from class to class and to the bathroom and shit.”

Philip snorts, wincing a little. A tear falls onto his cheek and Lukas quickly wipes it away with his thumb. “You wanna live with me?”

Lukas shifts closer and tilts his head so they’re nose to nose. “Yes,” he says. _I always want to be with you_ he thinks. _Always, always, always._

~

“Pain isn’t as bad this morning, right Philip?” Gabe asks, from a few feet away. 

Lukas is hovering close, watching Philip walk on the crutches. He hisses when he moves the wrong way and Lukas can’t stop himself before he moves forward, wrapping a hand around Philip’s arm.

“Yeah,” Philip says, though his voice is strained. “It was…bad last night.”

“But it’s better now?” Helen asks, standing next to the nurse. 

“Yes,” Philip insists, glancing at Lukas with an annoyed look on his face. He keeps moving forward, grimacing with every step, and it’s obvious to Lukas and probably everybody else that Philip hates the crutches.

“I think we’re gonna be good to go,” the nurse says, nodding at Helen. “We just need to sign the discharge papers. David spoke to you about—”

“Yes,” Philip says. “He told me everything, I know what to do.”

“You can’t get it wet,” the nurse insists, making eyes at him. “You’re gonna need help with showers and baths.”

“He’ll have help,” Lukas says, before he even realizes it. He moves forward when Philip does and earns a smile. He starts blushing and makes a point not to look at Helen and Gabe.

“Alright,” Helen says. “I’ll go take care of the paperwork and then we’ll get you home.”

Philip sighs and stops, leaning towards Lukas. “This is going to be annoying,” he says, the crutches digging into his arms at the top. “Are you sure you want to deal with this? Because I don’t want to deal with this and it’s happening to me.”

Lukas scoffs, narrowing his eyes. “I told you, I’m not going anywhere. What kind of dick do you think I am?”

Philip raises one eyebrow and his lips quirk up, and Lukas snorts, shaking his head. 

“You do feel better,” Lukas says. 

“A bit,” Philip says. “Definitely enough to make a dick innuendo, always.” He glances over his shoulder and sees Gabe looking at a magazine, but Lukas catches him shaking his head. 

“Gabe, you don’t mind me hanging around right?” Lukas asks, tracing his fingers up and down Philip’s arm. 

“Of course not, Lukas,” Gabe says, looking up at him. “I know you’re gonna make Philip’s time easier through all of this, and we love having you.”

“We do love having you,” Philip says and Lukas smiles, shaking his head at him.

~

It takes most of the day to get out of the hospital, and two acts of God to get Philip in the car and drive him home. Lukas can feel the irritation and pain radiating off of him. Helen and Gabe set him up in the downstairs bedroom and lay out his painkillers like a mini firing squad on the bedside table.

“We’re gonna lay down,” Philip says, looking at the two of them standing in the doorway. Lukas knows he’s probably hovering too close to Philip, but he also doesn’t care.

“You doing okay?” Helen asks.

“Yeah,” Philip says, but his voice gives him away.

Helen narrows her eyes but doesn’t say anything else.

“You guys have any preferences for dinner?” Gabe asks.

“Anything’s fine,” Philip says, easing over towards the bed. Lukas helps him sit down and sits down with him, keeping a hand around his elbow.

“Okay,” Helen says, eyeing him suspiciously. She looks at Lukas and he can almost read her mind in that moment, nodding his head at her. She and Gabe pull the door closed softly and as soon as they’re alone, Lukas leans in and presses a kiss to Philip’s shoulder. 

“You just opened yourself up to the possibility of Helen’s cooking,” Lukas says, pushing up Philip’s sleeve a little bit and kissing his bare skin.

“I don’t really wanna eat anything,” Philip says, stiff as a board.

“You only had those crackers earlier, Philip,” Lukas says, wrapping an arm around his waist. “You’ve gotta eat.”

“This thing is awful,” Philip says, leaning down and touching the cast. “It’s so big and unwieldy and it’s awful, Lukas.” He looks over, pouting.

Lukas brushes his thumb over Philip’s bottom lip and leans in, bringing their mouths together. It’s chaste but strangely intimate, and it goes on for a minute or so before Lukas rests their foreheads together. “Let’s just lay down, baby,” Lukas whispers. “I’ll help you haul that giant thing up here and I’ll feed you pizza later because hopefully that’s what they settle on.”

Philip only nods. Lukas wraps his arms around Philip’s waist and drags him onto the bed, going slow when the cast starts pulling against the comforter. Philip leans heavy against his chest and giggles when it starts taking too long, arching his neck back against Lukas’s shoulder.

“This is ridiculous,” Philip laughs, as they try to shimmy over to the middle of the bed. “I’m like a big useless bag of potatoes.”

“A bag of potatoes is extremely useful,” Lukas says, his voice going tight as he tries to edge them into the right position without jostling Philip’s leg too much. “And this particular bag of potatoes is also extremely attractive, so therefore, even more useful.” He scoots over a little more and moves Philip’s legs gingerly, fluffing the pillows up behind them and pulling Philip against his chest with a sigh. “There. There we go.”

Philip stretches an arm across Lukas’s stomach and melts against him, twisting a little awkwardly to get closer. 

“Are you comfortable?” Lukas asks, leaning back a little to look at him.

“As much as I can be,” Philip says. “Better because you’re here.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Lukas says, and he goddamn means it. Thank God it’s spring break. He doesn’t know what his dad is going to say about him crashing here for as long as he plans, but he doesn’t want to imagine that right now.

~

They fall asleep quick after what does wind up being a pizza dinner, and Lukas brings Philip a bowl and his toothbrush and toothpaste so he doesn’t have to get up. He’s wearing soft shorts and a t-shirt so Lukas doesn’t really see a need to try and put on pajamas on him. He can tell Philip is uncomfortable as he tries to shift around and find a good spot, and Lukas runs his hands through his hair until he feels his breathing even out.

His dreams are strange—pushing Philip around in a wheelchair at what looks like a theme park, and he wins him stuffed animal after stuffed animal, buys him funnel cakes and frozen lemonades and big pretzels. He kisses the sweetness from his mouth and they watch the stars as they come out to pepper the sky, the ground illuminated with golden light from the fair around them.

“Lukas. Lukas.”

Lukas startles awake and when his eyes focus he sees Philip sitting up on his elbows, sweat beading on his forehead. “What’s wrong?” Lukas slurs, shifting towards him.

“I’m sorry,” Philip whispers, shutting his eyes tight.

“No, baby, what’s wrong?” Lukas asks, reaching out to touch his arm.

“I’m just really hot and the fan is even on high,” Philip pants, shaking his head. “It’s itchy under there and I really just want to rip this thing to pieces because it’s…it’s driving me insane.”

Lukas panics briefly, trying to think of what would help him, and then a lightbulb goes off in his head. “You want to take a bath?” he asks. 

Philip opens his eyes. “Didn’t they say that would be a major pain in the ass?” he asks. “Don’t I have to wear a trash bag on my leg?”

“Yeah, but I’m literally gonna be touching your naked body and washing your hair, so that outweighs the trash bag, right?” He grins and Philip returns it. “You want to?”

“If you don’t mind it,” Philip says, sighing. “I don’t want to put you out. I feel like an asshole already, literally clinging to you and forcing you to stay with me.”

Lukas scoffs. “Yeah, I’m _so_ forced. I don’t want to be here _at all_. If you weren’t all cute and sweaty and injured I’d push you right now.”

Even in the dark, Lukas can see Philip’s cheeks going red.

“And for your information, you clinging to me is probably my favorite thing,” Lukas says, leaning in and pressing a lingering kiss to Philip’s cheek. 

 

Lukas didn’t realize that it’s literally five in the morning, so he sneaks into the kitchen to get the garbage bag, trying to be as quiet as possible. He gets Philip a glass of water and starts back, walking on his tip toes and moving like a snail.

Philip looks up when Lukas slips back into the room, closing the door behind him. “I honestly wasn’t sure if you were coming back.”

“I was trying not to make a lot of noise!” Lukas hisses, grinning at him. He reaches over and flips on the light, watching Philip wince against it. 

“You succeeded,” Philip says, chuckling. “Might as well have been a cat burglar.”

“I’ll think about a career change,” Lukas says, handing Philip the water and helping him into a sitting position. He grabs the main painkillers and quickly scans over the instructions, popping out two of the pills into his hand and giving them to Philip. “Okay, you take those and I’m gonna go start the bath.” He pats Philip’s knee and moves into the bathroom.

Once the tub is full, Lukas gathers Philip up and holds him close, walking slowly with him and paying rapt attention to every wince and grimace. 

“Almost there,” Lukas whispers, kicking the bathroom door open wider. “We got this, we got this.” Once they’re in the room he eases Philip onto the closed toilet seat, watching his eyes fall to the garbage bag immediately.

“This is so fucking embarrassing,” Philip whispers, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I’m gonna be naked except for a garbage bag. How will you ever be attracted to me again?”

“Stop saying these things,” Lukas says, reaching out and brushing a stray hair out of Philip’s face. “I’d be attracted to you if you were covered in mud and puking all over the place.”

Philip laughs and the sound is so beautiful that Lukas can feel his heart swelling. “Alright,” Philip says. “Take my clothes off in what will be the least sexual way possible.”

“Yes sir, little angel face, sir,” Lukas says, leaning down and pressing a kiss to the top of Philip’s head before working his shirt up and off. It’s a little harder to get his shorts and boxers off but Lukas makes it work, letting Philip lean on him until all the clothes are in a pile by their feet. Lukas kneels down and starts wrapping the trash bag around the cast the way the nurse told them to, trying not to react to Naked Philip the way he’d normally react to Naked Philip.

“You’re blushing.”

“Hush.”

“Normally we’re not just sitting around when one of us is naked,” Philip says. “Garbage bags are almost never involved.”

Lukas snorts, tying it off at the top and trying to be as careful as possible. “Alright, let’s get you in there.”

“Okay,” Philip breathes, bracing himself as Lukas helps him stand again. Lukas hates how much it hurts, wishes he could teleport Philip from place to place so he didn’t have to see that pain in his eyes. 

They maneuver over to the tub and it’s nearly impossible, and Lukas is terrified he’s going to drop him, holds him tighter just in case. He gets wet lowering him in but it doesn’t matter, and he makes sure to adjust the cast on the edge of the tub so the garbage bag doesn’t sink into the water. He makes sure Philip is sitting and finally starts breathing again, sitting on the other end of the tub closest to his head. 

“Is it cool enough?” Lukas asks, looking down at him.

“It’s perfect,” Philip says, still breathing a little hard. “You don’t have to wash my hair. I can manage it.”

“No way,” Lukas says, leaning over and grabbing the shampoo before Philip can. “I’m doing it.”

Philip makes a noise, shaking his head. “You’re doing too much.”

Lukas clicks his tongue and shakes his head, kneeling down next to the tub. He traces his hands through the water and cups it over Philip’s chest, watching him sink down a little lower and close his eyes. Lukas watches him, smiling softly to himself. “One day we need to find a hot tub somewhere,” Lukas says. “So we can get in together.”

“Yes,” Philip says, almost dreamily. “Wish this tub was big enough for you to be in it with me.”

Lukas starts running his wet hands through Philip’s hair, wringing a grin out of him. “Scalp massage,” Lukas mutters. “Feel good?”

“Everything you do feels good,” Philip says, popping one eye open.

 

Philip stays in the tub for almost an hour and Lukas is surprised how not tired both of them are. He washes every inch of him and tries not to get turned on, though they do make out for a little while until Philip’s leg is dangerously close to falling into the water. Lukas helps him out and dries him off, retrieving some comfortable clothes from upstairs and still sneaking around quietly in the sleeping house. He gets Philip dressed again and hauls him back into the bedroom, helping him find the perfect spot until his body relaxes again.

Lukas stands by the side of the bed and stares down at him. “You think it’d be weird if I went in there and started making breakfast?”

“Lukas, you don’t have to.”

“You’re hungry, I can tell,” Lukas says, pointing at him. “You’ve got that look on your face.”

“You can wait and Gabe can do it.”

“I can make enough for everybody!”

Philip gives him a look, raising his eyebrows. 

Lukas shuffles over towards him, grinning. “I’m gonna go make you breakfast.” He leans in and kisses Philip twice in progression and rushes out of the room before Philip can protest any more.

~

“Lukas?” Gabe’s voice asks from behind him. 

Lukas starts, his heart leaping a little as he turns around from his spot at the stove. “Hey, Gabe,” he says. He looks down at the fourth omelet in the skillet, the other three already laid out on plates. “Hope this was okay—Philip woke up early and then he got hungry.”

Gabe laughs a little bit, a smile on his face. “You did all this?”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, sheepishly. “If I’m gonna crash at your house I gotta earn my keep somehow.”

“Lukas, you can be here whenever you want,” Gabe says, moving over closer to him and starting to make coffee. “You help Philip more than you know. Especially now.”

Lukas swallows hard, nodding his head. “I hope so.”

“You do,” Gabe says. “Trust me. You two gonna eat in the bedroom?”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, finishing up the last omelet and turning off the burner. “Do you guys mind that?”

“Course not,” Gabe says. “I’m gonna bring ours up to Helen if you don’t mind.”

“Go for it,” Lukas says. “I hope they’re edible.”

“They look fantastic,” Gabe says. He walks over to the fridge and takes the bottle of ketchup out, squirting some on both plates. He leaves it there for Lukas. “I had a few jobs I had to do in town but I think I’m going to reschedule them because Philip is laid up. Helen didn’t want us both to be gone on the first full day he’s home like this.”

Lukas looks at him. “I’ll be with him,” he says. “If you….if you need to go, you can. I’ve got him, I can do whatever he needs.”

Gabe studies him for a long moment. “You sure?”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Lukas says. 

“I wouldn’t be gone for long,” Gabe says. “Helen’s gonna be back around six if things go according to plan.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” Lukas says. 

~

Lukas pulls the bed tray out of the closet and arranges it over Philip, helping him sit up so he’s comfortable. He transfers the plate over and sets the glass of orange juice down next to it, smoothing his hand over Philip’s shoulder before he walks around to sit down next to him. 

“You’re amazing,” Philip says, watching him. “This looks so good.”

“I hope so,” Lukas says, leaning back against the pillows and crossing his ankles. He cuts his omelet with his fork and watches Philip anxiously. 

“Gabe came by on his way upstairs,” Philip says, giving him a look. “I don’t want you to think you need to go above and beyond here. Like you can go home, get some sleep, watch TV in the living room if you want to.”

Lukas scoffs. “I don’t think you realize how much I want to be with you.”

“Even when I’m laid up and useless?”

“Always,” Lukas says, grabbing Philip’s hand and kissing his knuckles. “And you’re never useless.”

“I can’t even walk on my own right now,” Philip says, widening his eyes. 

“That’s why I’m here!” Lukas says, smiling at him. “Now eat that before it gets cold. I can hear your stomach rumbling.”

~

Once Helen and Gabe leave, Lukas’s dad comes by with some of his clothes and things, and Lukas is surprised to see him so concerned with how Philip is doing. They talk on the porch for a little while and Lukas promises to check in and keep him updated. He tries not to go too stiff when his dad hugs him, shocked and silently happy that it’s happening.

As he walks back inside he tries to think of things to do to keep Philip occupied, and he’s half terrified he’s going to bore him to death. When he turns the corner he sees Philip out in the hallway, both hands braced on the walls. Lukas’s heart jumps into his throat and he leaps forward, rushing towards him.

“What the hell, Philip?” he nearly yells, wrapping an arm around his waist as soon as he’s next to him. “What are you doing?”

Philip smiles, a little out of breath. “Wanted to—wanted to come out to the—the living room,” he pants, leaning hard into Lukas. “Thought we could watch TV.”

“You gotta wait for me, okay?” Lukas says, nudging his forehead into Philip’s temple. “Until you got your walking legs back. And you’re not even using the crutches!”

“Lukas, I hate them,” Philip says, as they hobble over to the couch. “They hurt my arms and I look like an idiot using them.”

“Babe, you have to use them and that’s it,” Lukas says, depositing him on the couch carefully and sinking down next to him. “You don’t look like an idiot.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Philip says. 

“You look like an idiot when you’re struggling down the hallway instead of waiting for your boyfriend to sweep you off your feet,” Lukas says, raising his eyebrows at him.

“You couldn’t carry me when I have this thing on,” Philip says, looking down at his cast. “I weigh a thousand pounds.”

“I bet you’re light as a feather,” Lukas says, leaning forward to wrap an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer. Philip’s shoulders feel tense and he leans back into Lukas’s touch, his eyebrows pulling together. “What’s wrong?” Lukas asks softly.

“Nothing, nothing,” Philip says, turning into him and sliding his hand across Lukas’s stomach, sighing against his shoulder.

“Come on,” Lukas says, jarring him ever so slightly.

“My shoulders hurt,” Philip mutters fast. “I don’t know why and it’s fine. I’m gonna deal.”

Lukas wilts a little bit. He was worried it was something a lot worse. This he can work with. “You’re gonna deal because I’m gonna help you deal.” He kisses the top of Philip’s head and eases him forward a little bit, smiling at the groan he makes. 

“Lukas, you don’t have to do anything,” Philip says.

“Baby, if you say it one more time,” Lukas says, nipping at the back of his neck. “I’m gonna give you a massage.”

“Oh,” Philip says, brightening a little bit. “That’s fine then.”

“Yeah, I knew you’d like that,” Lukas says. He starts kneading Philip’s shoulders and Philip immediately reacts, letting out a breath and arching his neck back. 

“That feels really good,” Philip breathes.

“Good,” Lukas says, changing the direction of his thumbs, working his way up and down. He can’t imagine how long Philip has been this tense and he’s irritated at himself for not noticing until he broke his goddamn leg. He tries to work out the knots but he keeps getting distracted by the noises Philip is making, keeps looking at the graceful arc of Philip’s neck. Lukas can’t help it and moves forward, putting his mouth there. Philip’s pulse thrums under his lips and Lukas can’t help but revel in that, humming to himself.

“Lukas,” Philip says, leaning back against him. 

“You’re getting all kinds of massages from me tonight,” Lukas whispers, tipping Philip’s head back and bringing their mouths together. He slips his tongue into Philip’s mouth almost tentatively, touching his cheek, marveling at how fucking soft his skin is. He kisses him long and deep until they’re both breathing heavily, and Lukas licks over Philip’s bottom lip and captures his mouth once, twice, three times more.

“How dare you go falling down a flight of stairs,” he whispers, pressing their foreheads together. “How dare you hurt yourself?” He nuzzles Philip’s nose and sighs, feels a little bit dizzy thinking of how long Philip was alone before someone found him hurt. How bad the break felt. They haven’t even really talked about it. “How dare anything happen to you? I need you safe all the time.”

Philip smiles, kissing him again and then reaching up, dragging his thumb across Lukas’s lips. “You gonna beat up the stairs for me?”

“Beat up the stairs,” Lukas says, kissing him. “The floor,” he says, kissing him again. “The whole goddamn building.” And this kiss lasts because he pours everything into it, promising himself then and there that he’s never gonna let anything happen to Philip again, if he can help it.

“I’d like to see that,” Philip says. He twists around so they’re facing each other again and buries his face in Lukas’s neck, and Lukas holds him close, carding his hands through his hair.

~

Lukas buys a movie and they watch it on Philip’s laptop on the couch, slamming through about eight episodes of Cops afterwards and continually comparing everything to how Helen would do it. He orders way too much Chinese food so there will be some for Gabe and Helen when they get home, and he scrounges up chocolate syrup and sprinkles to make Philip a bowl of ice cream.

He hears the door opening when he’s working in the kitchen.

“Sorry, sorry,” Gabe says, and Helen coughs behind him. “My last appointment lasted a lot longer than it should have.”

“Tony kept us at the flower shop on tenth for forever,” Helen says, shutting the door.

“It’s okay,” Philip says, and Lukas looks back to see him smiling.

“I bought dinner,” Lukas announces, finishing off the ice cream with a few stray marshmallows. “Yours are in the fridge. Philip told me what you wanted so it’s his fault if it’s wrong.”

“Lukas,” Helen says, as he crosses the room to sit down back next to Philip. “You gotta stop with this stuff. We’re gonna owe you.”

“Definitely not,” Lukas says, handing the bowl to Philip and watching his eyes go wide.

“I thought you were making this for yourself,” Philip says, looking at him.

“Of course not,” Lukas says. “I might steal a few bites but that’s yours.”

Philip’s mouth quirks up just a little bit, and he croaks out a thanks that hardly meets the air.

~

They watch TV with Helen and Gabe for a while and move into the bedroom at about nine, Lukas half carrying Philip to their destination. He helps him change his shirt and his sweatpants into a different pair, and they’re sitting in a heavy sort of silence that doesn’t really feel right to Lukas. He hands him a glass of water and Philip takes two more pills, sitting on the edge of the bed. He hands the glass back and doesn’t look up at Lukas. 

Lukas sets the glass down and steps forward, tipping his chin up. “What’s wrong?” He’s terrified he’s done something wrong somehow, but he can’t figure out what.

Philip shakes his head and smiles sadly.

“Philip,” Lukas says, sitting next to him. “You can talk to me, come on.”

“I just—” He stares down at his hands, balling them into fists. “I just can’t believe you—you want to do all these things for me. This whole day you’re just—you didn’t miss a beat and I just—I never thought someone—someone would want to do all—all this for me—” His voice cracks and Lukas moves swiftly, wrapping him up in his arms.

“You deserve so much more, Philip,” Lukas breathes against his cheek, his heart breaking when he hears Philip’s breath hitch. “I’d give you the moon, baby, I’d pluck the stars out of the goddamn sky for you.” 

He rocks him back and forth and hates that he’s in pain, hates that there was one single moment in his life when he felt alone, unsafe. “I love you,” Lukas whispers, kissing the junction between Philip’s neck and shoulder. “I love you, I love you.” He can’t stop saying it and he’s drowning in it, the warmth and the need and everything that makes Philip who he is. “I love you, Philip, I’m in love with you.”

“Oh my God,” Philip whispers, hands fisting in Lukas’s shirt at the small of his back. “Oh my God,” he says again, laughing a little bit. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to say it,” Lukas says, pulling away and holding his face in his hands. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not,” Philip says, eyes still shining with tears but a beautiful smile spreads across his face now. “You’re the fucking—you’re the best, Lukas, you’re everything—”

“I’m yours,” Lukas says, nodding.

Philip laughs again, arching his neck back. He meets Lukas’s eyes again. “You’re mine. And I love you too. I love you so much.”

Lukas laughs and he’s goddamn crying now, leaning forward to kiss Philip twice in a row. “I’m so glad I fucking said it. It’s been eating me up, baby, I’ve felt it for so long—”

“It’s okay,” Philip says, drawing his nose up Lukas’s cheek. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Me too.”

~

The next few days seem to inch by, and every time Philip grimaces or sucks in a breath full of pain, Lukas wants to do something about it. He tries to pull out everything in his repertoire to make him feel better, including drawing all over the cast from top to bottom. He draws turkeys, the two of them on his bike, a whole slew of curved lines that don’t amount to much but somehow still look cool. He writes I love you three times close to the top so Philip can read it, and he draws the moon and the stars because he wants to give them to Philip however he can, and until he can grasp stardust in his palms and deliver it back into hands he loves more, this will have to do.

They play board games and eventually Philip realizes that Lukas is letting him win at Scrabble, so they start playing Never Have I Ever until they start kissing, efficiently ending the game. When Helen and Gabe get home they extract themselves from each other, and play a very wholesome game of Monopoly, which gets severely elongated by Gabe trying to make pasta. He runs back and forth from the kitchen to the living room, which eventually leaves them in hysterics when he races back for his turn with alfredo sauce running down the front of his shirt.

Helen makes appointments with the physical therapist, and the first time the guy comes by Lukas nearly flips the fuck out when he starts out by making Philip practice going up the stairs on his crutches. Helen holds him back and tells him not to worry, that it’ll keep his strength up and help him recover quicker later. So Lukas stays a couple steps behind and keeps whispering reassurances, and knows that if Philip so much as shudders that he’ll be there to set him right again.

It’s the last day of spring break and Lukas is having nightmares. Nightmares about leaving him, nightmares about the day he goes back to school and falls again. He knows he’s gonna take a couple days off and Lukas will bring his work back for him, but in the dreams he’s lost in the school and there are outlines on the ground from where Philip fell except they’re everywhere, and when he comes back to the Caldwell farm Philip is in so much pain that he can’t speak, his face contorted in agony and Lukas can’t help him, Lukas can’t help him _Lukas can’t help him—_

His eyes snap open and he sucks in a breath, peering over at Philip. He sees that he’s turned onto his side, twisted a little so his whole body is turned towards Lukas except the cast. His eyes are open.

“Lukas,” he whispers, breathy. “What’s wrong?”

“Bad dream,” Lukas says, feeling the sweat on his forehead. He reaches over and pulls Philip closer, feeling him shudder a little bit under his touch. “You alright?”

Philip hums to himself. “I was having a dream too.”

“Bad?” Lukas asks, turning onto his side.

Philip moves as swiftly as someone can with a broken leg, closing the distance between them, lightly touching Lukas’s collar. “Good,” he whispers.

Lukas can only guess, and his own dream fizzles in the air between them. “Oh?” he asks, their lips brushing together lightly as he speaks. “How so?”

“Lukas,” Philip breathes. “Feel like it’s been a goddamn year since we’ve done anything but make out,” he says, closing his eyes. “God, I can feel you all over.”

“Can you?” Lukas asks, catching his bottom lip for a moment before letting it go. His mind is flashing red and warm with liquid need, and he could make a map of Philip’s body if he wanted to, the juts and curves and delicate parts, all the things that make Philip his.

“I need you,” Philip says. “God, I don’t know how the hell—”

“What time is it?” Lukas asks, a little breathless.

“Four,” Philip whispers, gripping the collar of Lukas’s shirt tighter. 

“They won’t come in here right?” Lukas asks, drunk on him, dizzy at the thought of touching him like this because he’s right, because it feels like it’s been goddamn years since before the break and he aches for what it feels like—

“No,” Philip says. “They won’t wake up.”

“Are you sure?” Lukas asks, focusing on how Philip’s breath feels against his lips. 

“No, no,” Philip says. “And if they hear anything they’ll just back off, you know that,” he says, grinning. “You remember.”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, his whole face going hot. He tries to push away the memories and focus on Philip. Philip, moving a little against him and clutching the material of the t-shirt at his waist. “What do you want, baby?” he whispers. “Tell me, tell me what you need.”

“Anything,” Philip says, his mouth dropping open when Lukas reaches back and grips his neck. “God, it’s been so long since you’ve touched me—”

Lukas reaches down and does just that, palming him through his sweatpants. Philip arches his neck back and stifles a groan by biting down on his lower lip. Lukas wonders what he was dreaming, can only imagine the soft beauty of Philip’s mind, and God he wants to possess him, wants to make him feel good, wants to pour his love into every pore of Philip’s body. “Can I blow you?” he whispers into his ear. “Please? I need to put my mouth on you.”

“Yes,” Philip says, gasping a little bit. “Is—is the cast gonna—get in your way?”

“Nothing’s gonna get in my way,” Lukas says, moving fast, and he’s rucking Philip’s shirt up, licking at his stomach before blowing hot breath there, watching Philip squirm and clutch at Lukas’s back. Lukas glances up quickly, his hands fidgeting at the top of Philip’s waistband. “I’m gonna be careful, okay?”

“I trust you,” Philip says, nodding.

Lukas nods back and gently pulls Philip’s pants down, taking his boxers with them. He slides them down to just above the cast, a little terrified above moving them any further. Philip is already hard and Lukas is struck by just how long it’s been—they hadn’t been properly alone for a couple days before Philip broke his leg, and they’ve been so focused on everything—the pain, Philip learning to deal with it, Lukas desperate to distract him. But he’s anxious now and he strokes him once, eliciting a groan before he leans in and takes him in his mouth. He’s never done this from this angle but he wants to do everything with Philip, everywhere and always.

“God, Lukas,” Philip groans, tangling his hand in Lukas’s hair. 

Lukas relishes the taste of him and bobs his head up and down, dragging his tongue along Philip’s length. He caresses Philip’s hipbone and slides his hand up his stomach, resting it over the core of his chest, where his heart is beating wildly. Philip puts his hand there too, the one that isn’t buried in Lukas’s hair, and weaves their fingers together. 

Lukas hums to himself and can feel Philip shiver with the vibrations, muffling another moan as he turns his face to the side. Lukas hollows his cheeks and takes him in as far in as he can without gagging, flicking his tongue at the head when he draws back up. He’s intent on making Philip feel good and he knows he’s accomplishing his goal when he looks up, catching sight of Philip breathing harshly, his head thrown back. Lukas sucks harder, speeding up his pace, wrapping his hand around the base of Philip’s dick, making up for what his mouth can’t cover.

“Lukas, Lukas,” Philip whispers. “God, I love your mouth. God, so good, Lukas.”

He starts chanting Lukas’s name like a mantra and Lukas can feel his own cock straining in his sweatpants. 

“Lukas, I’m—I’m gonna—”

But Lukas already knows, can tell by the way Philip is writhing, his thighs trembling, his hand fisting and tugging in Lukas’s hair. He comes into Lukas’s mouth and Lukas swallows it, working him through it. After a few moments he draws back, his hand slipping from Philip’s, his own arousal nearly drowning him.

Philip reaches out for him, that blissed out expression still on his face. “Lemme. Lemme help you.”

The idea feels weird to Lukas, like he’ll be using this beautiful injured boy, making him do things he shouldn’t be doing while he’s laid up like this. And when he thinks of it that way he feels even worse about it, leaning back and shaking his head.

Philip groans, still reaching for him. “Please, baby, wanna touch you.”

Something occurs to him as he shakes his head. “Watch me,” he whispers, leaning back and working his pants over his hips. “Just watch me.”

Philip’s eyes go wide and Lukas frees his own cock through the opening in his boxers, and he already feels close as he starts to work himself steady, his eyes fixed on Philip’s perfect face. “God,” he whispers, arching his neck back for a moment and hearing it crack. “God, Philip, I used to touch myself and think of you.”

Philip’s mouth drops open, his lower lip trembling. “Do you—do you still?”

Lukas can’t help it and smiles a little bit, twisting his wrist and shuddering at the way it feels. “Yes,” he whispers. “After I’m with you—whenever I miss you—which is fucking always, Philip. If I spend a night away from you—I—fuck, I’m most likely fucking touching myself and picturing your face.”

“Jesus, Lukas,” Philip says, his hand clutching his own shirt. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

Lukas starts to shake, stroking himself faster. “Can’t believe I have you,” he breathes, his head swimming, his mind racing. “I never—never knew—couldn’t believe, in the beginning that—that it could happen.”

“I can’t wait to get this fucking cast off, Lukas,” Philip says, leaning forward and touching Lukas’s knee. It’s electric and Lukas moans, trying not to be too loud. “God, I can’t wait to have you inside me again.”

That’s all it goddamn takes. “Fuck—oh—Philip—” and he comes all over his hand, his vision going white for a moment. He can hear Philip breathing, and his hand slides up to Lukas’s thigh. Lukas takes a moment to collect himself and opens his eyes, sees Philip smiling sheepishly.

“That was hot,” Philip says. “God, that was hot.”

“Now we gotta clean up,” Lukas says, shaking his head. “Prepare for another early morning bath, angel face.”

~

The first day back at school is like fucking _torture_. He hardly pays attention, texts Philip with every spare moment he gets. He goes by all of Philip’s classes to pick up his work, and he doesn’t even care that everybody knows now, that they’re together. He wants them all to know.

They had a wheelchair from the first day at the hospital so Lukas wheels Philip out to the barn after school so they can do their homework somewhere else. He doesn’t look uncomfortable, which Lukas was worried about, but he does seem to be deep in thought over something as he stabs at his notebook. 

“You doing okay over there?” Lukas asks, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

“Yeah,” Philip says softly. 

“I like how you think you can lie to me still,” Lukas says, kissing his temple. “I hope you’re not upset you missed out on school. Because it’s literally the same garbage as always.”

“No, it’s just…” Philip shifts his lips to the side, shaking his head. “Mind wandering, I guess.”

“Where’s it going?” Lukas asks, concerned. 

Philip looks up at him. “Did I, uh—ever tell you when I broke my wrist in elementary school?”

Lukas’s throat goes a little tight. “No—no, you never mentioned that.”

“It was awful,” Philip says, shaking his head. “I mean, the actual breaking wasn’t too terrible, was just an accident when I jumped off my bed and landed badly but—well—” He clears his throat and shakes his head again. “Things weren’t good. I was alone a lot, the kids at school, uh—well, they definitely didn’t make it better. And then when it was time to get it off we kept missing the appointments so when I did get it off it was fucking…disgusting under there.”

“We’re not gonna miss the appointment,” Lukas says, fast.

“I know,” Philip says, smiling up at him. “I was just thinking again how—how different things are. And that’s—that’s why I got so emotional…before.” He shrugs a little bit. “I’ve just been thinking about it, every day how…how fucking amazing you’ve been. Because I know the other side of the situation, what it could feel like.”

Lukas leans in, pressing a long kiss to Philip’s temple, then another to his cheek, one more to the hinge of his jaw. “If you so much as get a splinter,” Lukas says, “you’re gonna get the same exact treatment.”

Philip snorts, leaning into him. 

~

Lukas goes to Philip’s next appointment and is absolutely beyond horrified to realize that he’s going to have the cast on for _four months_. He feels like he’s going to puke right there in the doctor’s office and Philip squeezes his hand like he’s the one that’s got the broken leg. 

He doesn’t stay with him every night anymore because his dad won’t allow him to be there for four months straight, and every night they’re apart is like agony, the nightmares cropping up more often than before, like they were in the beginning right after everything happened with Kane. One night they have phone sex before he goes to sleep and Lukas doesn’t think he’s slept so well on his own since they started seeing each other. He knows he’ll hear the dirty things Philip whispered in his ear for years to come, and he’s eagerly anticipating the next time they do it.

Philip gets better at walking with the crutches thanks to the physical therapist (Dr. Edison, who Gabe continually makes Thomas Edison jokes about right in front of his face) but when Philip does come back to school Lukas makes sure to walk close to him just in case. They always eat lunch together and Lukas is pleasantly surprised at how good his friends are being, especially Rose. She and Philip get into a long conversation about when she broke her leg in middle school, which eventually leads into them talking about photography, which leads to them talking about trains and the subway, and that whole day Lukas hardly talks to Philip at all during lunch. But when he sees the way he’s smiling he doesn’t really mind it.

Lukas blows him a couple more times and gives him hand jobs whenever he can, but he still doesn’t like the idea of making Philip do anything to him while he’s got the cast on. They got close a couple of times but whenever he catches sight of Philip’s leg he feels like an asshole and can’t let it continue, much to Philip’s dismay. Philip decides to blindfold him one night and it does the trick—he feels like a complete lunatic but that’s how they take care of business, and Philip seems to like it so Lukas runs with it.

Philip starts being able to get around a lot better and Lukas doesn’t want to say they’re getting used to the cast, but things are definitely easier than they were in the beginning. They both get out of their ridiculously fucked up junior year with passing grades, and on the last day of school Rose draws a skyline on Philip’s cast that’s absolutely way better than anything Lukas did previously. 

At one of the appointments they finally find out the date that the cast is going to come off—two weeks later on July 23rd. And after that the time flies. Lukas takes him out on dates, they see movies, start the incredibly nerve wracking college search, and Philip even insists on shooting footage of Lukas riding. He still doesn’t feel too steady doing tricks but he does a few and feels good about it when he sees the beautiful smile on Philip’s face.

Every day Lukas looks at him and can’t believe what they went through to find this moment, this strange peace between them despite the latent pain and broken bones. He loves him so much that he can hardly understand the feeling, only wants to belong to him, to take care of him, and he scares himself when he can see the future so clearly, like it’s a real glimpse into future reality, and Philip is with him every single step of the way.

~

It’s July 23rd. 

They’re in the car and Lukas is sitting in the back with Philip, their hands clasped together on the seat between them. 

“Can I, uh…” Philip starts, and he looks at Lukas for a moment. Lukas is positive he’s reading his mind. “Can I stay the night at Lukas’s tonight?”

Yeah, Philip is absolutely reading his mind. 

“Is your dad still out of town?” Helen asks, looking back at them in the rearview.

“Uh, yes,” Lukas says, because he can’t lie to her.

Helen looks at Gabe and Gabe laughs, an easy smile on his face. Helen sighs, looking back at them again. “I’m gonna say yes,” she says, “purely for Lukas’s sake.”

Lukas cocks his head at her, his heart hammering in his chest.

“You did so much,” she says, “this whole time. None of us are going to forget it. So…as long as you two are safe, as long as we’re informed first and, barring any unforeseen circumstances….you can spend the night together whenever you want.”

Philip actually gasps. “What? Gabe? Really?”

“You bet,” Gabe says. “We discussed it last night.”

Lukas can’t hardly fucking breathe, let alone fathom such a thing. “Wow,” he says. “Wow, that’s…that. That’s….wow.”

“Thank you, guys,” Philip says, squeezing Lukas’s hand.

Lukas can already see the night forming in his head, and he wishes Gabe would drive faster.

~

They surround the bed as the doctor cuts the cast off and Lukas is only momentarily sad for the loss of his and Rose’s artwork before it hits him all at once—Philip’s leg is healed. His leg isn’t fucking broken anymore. The cast is coming off.

And finally the two pieces fall to either side and his leg is revealed.

“Ew,” Philip says, immediately. “Gross.”

“Not as bad as what I’ve seen,” the doctor says.

“I mean, we were expecting this,” Helen says, nudging Gabe. “Right?”

“Right,” Gabe says. “Right.”

The hair on Philip’s leg is a lot darker and thicker, and his skin is flaky and pale, very dry when Lukas reaches out to touch it. Philip looks up at him and he seems a little panicked.

“How does it feel?” Lukas asks. “Okay?”

“I guess,” Philip says. 

“Try and walk on it,” the doctor says, standing back. 

Helen and Gabe back up but Lukas doesn’t move, only steps aside so Philip can swing his legs over the side of the bed. He doesn’t reach out and take his arm like he wants to but he stays close, primed to swoop in if Philip so much as trembles the wrong way. It brings back memories of all the physical therapy sessions with Edison except now Lukas can’t stop staring at Philip’s leg. It’s like he’s never fucking seen it before. 

Philip takes one step forward and plants his foot solidly on the ground. He takes another and Lukas follows him, staring down at his bare feet. Philip laughs, a little breathless, wiggling his toes against the ground. “Wow,” he says, grinning.

“Looking good,” Gabe says. “You feel okay?”

“Feels amazing,” Philip says, looking up at Lukas. “I’m a two legged human being again, babe.”

“That’s what it looks like,” Lukas says, his face and throat flushing at the sight.

~

Philip walks to the car. He’s actually legitimately walking and he’s only a little bit shaky and Lukas walks with his arm around his waist for his own peace of mind. 

“Can we go to the store?” Philip asks, once they’re back in the car. 

“What for?” Helen asks.

“I want to get stuff to make Lukas dinner,” Philip says, glancing at him quickly.

“Philip, you don’t have to do that,” Lukas says, sagging against him. “We can just order something.”

“I want to,” Philip says, leaning over and kissing his shoulder. 

“I think that’s a great idea, Philip,” Gabe says.

“Anything you want in particular?” Philip asks, looking up at Lukas with those big eyes.

“Just you,” Lukas says, and Philip has the nerve to smirk.

~

Gabe distracts Lukas with college talk while Helen and Philip go around the store together for the supplies, and Lukas catches sight of them out of the corner of his eye and is struck by how Philip looks actually walking again. It’s such a normal thing but it feels so amazing, and he tries to focus on Gabe again so he doesn’t start crying. 

In the car, Helen keeps feeding Philip vague instructions about cooking, and they go back and get some of his things before they drive the two of them back to Lukas’s house. They both hug Philip for a long time, and then they hug Lukas too, and once again he’s fighting back tears. He’s so goddamn happy.

“What are you gonna make?” Lukas asks, once they’re inside the house. They’ve only been here together a few times in the past four months and Lukas is pretty proud of himself for the amount of freakouts he’s avoiding.

Philip smiles at him, taking the groceries from Lukas’s arms and putting them on the counter. “Breakfast for dinner.”

Lukas’s face lights up. “Really? Can I help you?”

“Nope,” Philip says, pushing him away a little bit. 

“Well, I’m gonna stand here,” Lukas says, watching Philip’s cute butt in his shorts, realizing here and now that the time of shorts is probably coming to a close. “You’re still feeling alright? It doesn’t hurt at all, right?”

“Not really,” Philip says, taking out his supplies and turning the stove top on. “Strains a little bit when I straighten it out too much but it doesn’t really hurt. It feels really good to have the cast off.”

Lukas wilts a little bit, the relief finally getting to him. “Thank God, man,” he says. “Sometimes it felt like you were never going to get it off.”

“Well, it’s gone,” Philip says, peering down at his leg and looking over his shoulder. “We’re finally alone again.”

Lukas starts forward, pressing their bodies together and sliding his hands over Philip’s hips. “Thank fucking God,” he says again, kissing Philip’s neck.

“This isn’t gonna take long to make,” Philip says, his breath hitching a little bit. “And then we can—we can—”

“Yeah,” Lukas says, kissing his jawline. 

~

Philip makes peanut butter and banana French toast and it’s so good that Lukas is momentarily distracted by how far his mind is delving into the gutter. He keeps thinking about how long it’s been since they’ve been together, really been together, and they were having trouble just touching each other when Philip had the cast on, so now that it’s gone Lukas can’t stop imagining all the possibilities.

But he doesn’t even know if Philip wants it, if his leg is healed enough to try anything, and suddenly Lukas feels like a fucking asshole again for wanting anything of him. They lay down together on Lukas’s bed and watch videos, and Philip cuddles up close to him, laying his head on Lukas’s chest.

“You’re not even watching,” Philip mutters. 

“I am,” Lukas says, eyes flashing back to the screen. 

“You’re staring at my leg,” Philip says, laughing a little bit. “Is it that gross?”

“It’s not gross at all,” Lukas says.

“It’s definitely gross,” Philip says, clicking his phone off and casting it aside, scooting up closer to Lukas, if that’s even possible. He smooths his hand across Lukas’s chest and Lukas is sure he can feel the need there, in every frantic beat of his heart. “Do you still want me?” Philip asks, bracing himself on his elbow as he sits up to look Lukas in the eye.

Lukas is a little taken aback. “Yes,” he says simply. 

Philip’s eyes search his face and he leans in, pressing their lips together softly. Lukas’s breath comes out in a wave and he tries not to drag him forward, his hands resting tentatively on Philip’s waist. 

“I’m afraid,” Lukas whispers against his mouth, his eyes fluttering closed.

“Of what?” Philip asks, kissing him again, a little more insistent this time. 

“Hurting you,” Lukas says, brushing their noses together. “I can’t hurt you. Not ever again.”

“You won’t,” Philip says, nipping at Lukas’s lower lip. “Just…just get on top of me and I can stretch my leg out.”

Lukas closes his eyes, nudging closer to him.

“Lukas,” Philip says, laughing a little bit. “You’re not taking advantage of me, there’s no cast anymore and I—I feel good,” he says. “Trust me, I want this. I want this. I’ve been thinking about this since about a week after I broke my goddamn leg.”

“Really?” Lukas asks, breathlessly, his face coloring as he tugs him closer.

“Yes,” Philip says, kissing his cheek. “God, yes, of course. Haven’t you?”

Lukas shudders, the corner of his mouth quirking up. “Uh, yeah. I have.”

“Come on,” Philip whispers, rutting down against him, pressing a wet kiss to his collarbone. “Get the stuff, come on—Jesus Christ, it’s been four months—”

“Oh, I know, babe,” Lukas says, kissing him, pressing their bodies together with one hand and reaching wildly for the bedside table. He knocks off his bottle of cologne and his iPod before he can get the drawer open, fishing his hand inside as his and Philip’s tongues slide together. He eventually manages to find the lube and the condom, drawing them out and dropping them on the bed by his hip.

“Okay,” Philip breathes. “Let’s—let’s figure—”

Lukas reluctantly pulls away and eases Philip onto his side, helping him pull off his shirt before casting his own aside. They’re both breathing hard and Philip’s hands are trembling as he moves to push his shorts down. “You’re still not wearing underwear, are you?” Lukas asks.

“No,” Philip says, smiling slyly. “I don’t know how I’m gonna get back into the habit.”

“You definitely don’t have to,” Lukas says, undoing his own button and fly. “Absolutely no reason.”

Philip laughs and Lukas leans down to kiss him because he needs to kiss a smile onto his face, and he keeps bringing their mouths together until he does just that. They cast the rest of their clothes away and Lukas tries to keep himself from panicking when he looks down at Philp’s leg. Usually he’s a lot more distracted by his dick but he keeps thinking _leg leg leg protect his leg idiot come on idiot_ and before he knows it he’s rolling off the bed completely naked, rushing away from where he wants to be.

“What are you doing?” Philip groans. “Are you…going into the closet? Don’t go back into the closet, babe.”

Lukas snorts, looking over his shoulder at him. “I’m getting extra pillows and blankets for your leg.”

“Oh my God,” Philip laughs, covering his face with his hands. “Alright, whatever makes you feel better.”

Lukas grabs them off the top shelf in the closet and rushes back, arranging the pillows under his knee and propping up the rest of his leg with the quilt he’d grabbed. He glances up at Philip’s face and sees him nod, and then he covers his body delicately with his own, stealing another kiss.

“Feels like the motel but different,” Lukas breathes, their noses brushing together. “Roles reversed.”

Philip nods, gripping the back of his neck and tugging on his hair. “Need you to take care of me,” he whispers, and that’s all Lukas needs to get going. 

He hasn’t had his fingers inside Philip in what feels like eight thousand years and he feels like he’s gonna blow his fucking load as soon as he sinks the first one in, watching Philip’s eyebrows knit together and his mouth fall open. His lips are so plush and Lukas thinks he was made to be with him, that the two of them were molded and formed to be attracted to each other, to fall in love and into each other’s arms. 

“Lukas,” Philip whispers, still clutching the back of his neck, and Lukas adds another finger, earning a moan that nearly tears him apart. He keeps working his fingers in and out, back and forth, adding one more before Philip is panting and writhing, squeezing his eyes shut tight. “Come on,” he moans. “Please.”

“Okay,” Lukas says, pulling his hand back. “You sure?”

“Yes,” Philip says, his voice going high. “Hike—hike my leg up.”

“Not your bad leg right?” Lukas asks, his eyes going wide. 

“No,” Philip breathes, a crooked smile on his face. “You’re—you’re so fucking cute, you idiot.”

Lukas reaches down and runs his hand up Philip’s thigh, drawing it up and around his own hip. He rips the condom open with his teeth and puts it on, covering it with as much lube as he thinks will make this go smoothly, and Philip’s hands drop to Lukas’s shoulders as Lukas lines himself up and starts to push in. He watches Philip’s face, and their eyes lock together until Lukas is flush against him.

He’s been waiting for this fucking feeling, been dreaming about it, been touching himself thinking about it, but right now he can hardly focus, sweating and hot and worried as fuck about moving the wrong way.

Philip smiles softly and reaches up, touching his face between deep breaths. “Come on, Lukas,” he whispers. “You’re not gonna hurt me. I swear.”

Lukas nods, his throat tight, and starts to move, pushing up into him once and drawing out a moan. It’s the most beautiful, sexual fucking sound he’s ever heard and he feels it boiling in his stomach as he thrusts up again, readjusting Philip’s good leg around his hip and then cradling his face in his hands, slipping his tongue into his mouth. He loves the way Philip tastes, every bit of him, and the way he whimpers into his mouth makes Lukas feel important, like he’s the only one that could ever make him sound like this, sweat like this, tremble like he’s trembling in his arms. 

He knows they usually go faster but he’s taking his time now, sinking in with long deep strokes that send electricity throughout his entire body. Philip responds to every movement and bites down on his lower lip, gasping when Lukas starts sucking at his neck. Lukas does it for so long, nipping and licking at the skin until he knows there’s gonna be a mark there, and he longs to see it, longs for other people to see it—to know he had been here, that Philip belongs to him.

“Oh God,” Philip moans, clutching at him. “Lukas, Lukas.”

“I love how you sound,” Lukas says, planting a peck on his lips, groaning as Philip arches up for another one. “I love how my name sounds coming out of your mouth.” He kisses him again.

“I love how you feel—inside me,” Philip says, opening his eyes again and staring up at him. “How you touch me. God—I—oh fuck—I never want to—let you go. Oh God, Lukas.”

“I love you,” Lukas says, kissing his forehead, thrusting up a little harder, and Philip cries out, digging his nails into Lukas’s shoulders. “I love you, Philip, I feel like—goddamnit, I feel like we were—” He groans, his vision spotty. “Made for each other,” he whispers, like it’s a curse, or a prayer.

“We can never go this much time again,” Philip whispers, his mouth falling open when Lukas moves just right. “Don’t care—what’s broken.”

“Jesus,” Lukas says, kissing the tip of his nose, his cheeks, his chin. “I’ll make love to you even if I have—two broken arms and two broken legs. I’ll—I’ll do it.”

Philip smiles and Lukas can’t help it, moves to bring their mouths together again. He reaches down to touch him, careful not to jar his leg in the process. He can feel his own body tightening up and he wants them to come together, at the same time, wants so badly not to close his eyes so he can watch every change in Philip’s face when it happens. He presses their foreheads together, stroking him fast.

“I love you,” Philip says. “Oh God.”

“Open your eyes, baby,” Lukas breathes, his thrusts spinning out into something sloppier, though still slow and sweet. “Lemme see those eyes, Philip, please.”

Philip opens his eyes and they stare at each other, Lukas’s hips faltering and his hand going strong, thumbing over the head of Philip’s cock. Philip’s brows furrow and his lips curve around Lukas’s name one more time before he lets go, his body shaking with release. Lukas surges up into him one last time and falls apart himself, managing to keep his eyes open to watch Philip tremble. 

When he finally stops shuddering he collapses down on top of him, and Philip grunts, causing Lukas to immediately straighten back up and away.

“No, no,” Philip says, pulling him back down. “I’m fine, come back here.”

“You sure?” Lukas asks, looking down at his leg.

“Back here right now,” Philip says, tugging at him and shaking his head. 

Lukas lays back down, pressing a long kiss to Philip’s cheek. They lay there for a while just breathing, touching each other, Philip’s hands drawing up and down Lukas’s back.

“That was fucking amazing,” Lukas whispers, finally. “I wonder if it’s because of how long we had to wait.”

Philip snorts.

“Not that it isn’t always good,” Lukas says, reeling back to look at him. “It’s always good. But this—this was—”

“No, I know what you mean,” Philip says, brushing Lukas’s hair back from his forehead. “I’m glad we got to, uh—well, I’m glad your dad was out of town.”

“Me too, baby, trust me,” Lukas says, smiling at him. He kisses him quick and moves to get up, dodging carefully around Philip’s leg as he gets to his feet. “I’m gonna go get some water, you want anything?”

“I’m alright,” Philip says, stretching out a little bit.

Lukas turns to walk out, starting for the door, when he hears Philip say something. “Hmm?” he hums, briefly glancing over his shoulder as he keeps walking.

“I said I can’t wait til I can get on my knees for you again,” Philip says, his voice low.

Lukas walks straight into the wall, and hits it hard enough that he might as well have been running. 

“Oh my God,” Philip laughs. “Lukas, are you okay?”

Lukas reaches up, clutching at his nose, which is goddamn throbbing. “You’re such a fucking tease,” he says, tearing up.

“I didn’t think you’d walk into a wall!” Philip exclaims, his voice getting closer. Lukas can feel his hand on his back. 

“If I broke my nose, babe…” Lukas says, grinning and shaking his head. He moves his hands and turns around to look at him. “Does it look broken?”

Philip squints at him. “It’s not bleeding. I’m not sure.” He looks a little closer, reaching up to touch it tentatively. Lukas flinches away on instinct and Philip clicks his tongue. “Well. I don’t know. It’s probably broken.”

“Don’t say that,” Lukas says, pouting. 

“You’re still cute, it’s okay,” Philip says, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

Lukas shakes his head at him, and despite the pain in his damn nose, he doesn’t think he could be happier.


End file.
